# 4 : Humble Beginnings

Leighton was up late in her study working on her piece for the week, doing the final editing and putting in the finishing touches. She was not content with the outcome. She worried that her lack of mental peace in the last few weeks had taken a toll on her writing. The thought scared her. Writing was the true love of her life. A day without it was an incomplete one. She had her own weekly column in the city's most prestigious newspaper, The Daily Standard. She believed in her talent and was convinced that she was put on Earth to worship the written word. But had she been slipping lately? "I'm sure it's not that bad," she reassured herself. On second thought, she contemplated sending her piece to her editor, Larry, for a quick review. "I've never done it though. What would he think?" A grave pang of anxiety threatened to consume her composure.

Just then a message popped up on the screen accompanied by a *ping* sound.

"Hey babe, you're up late?"

It was Ricky. Leighton stared at the reply button for a few seconds and then at the time. It was late. Did she want to talk to him at this hour? Did she want to talk to him at all? She stared blankly at the screen again while she chewed on her nail unconsciously. A knot in her stomach formed and slowly got tighter. Was she going to risk opening the floodgates to the buried memories of Nathan? If she didn't remove herself from the situation, she knew she would be overcome by a deluge of discomfort and paradox. As she was trying to figure out if she had it within to deal with the situation at hand, she was jolted out of indecision by another *ping* sound followed by a message.

"You there Ley?" She sure was.

"Hey Eric, working late?" she pinged him back.

Ricky: "Eric? Call me Ricky babe.. you know how much I love it when you say my name"

Leighton ignored it.

Ricky: "Talk to me babe, I miss you"

Leighton checked her gut. Was he telling the truth? She couldn't decide. She shuffled some papers around her desk, looked at the time and then got up to get herself a drink from the red colored mini fridge by the window. The moonlight shined through the window into the room. Leighton stood by the window for a few moments to admire the view of the night outside. She craved a blank mind.

*ping* *ping* *ping*

"What was she doing with him?" she asked herself and squirmed in irritation."What does he want from me and why now? What's so new about me now?" she groaned. A part of her wished that he would leave her alone. Another part, however, disagreed. She allowed herself to back to the computer, back into the conversation that was making her nervous.

Leighton: "Sorry, went to get a drink.. back now. What you up to?"

Ricky: "Not much. You like Italian, don't you? I know of a really neat place in the city, close to where you live. Want to give it a shot?"

Leighton couldn't accept his offer.There were too many unresolved issues, too many questions. What about him? She wondered if she should invite Emily for a chat later that week or if she should discuss it with Kara. Who was her a better choice to confide in? Kara didn't know Nathan and it was probably better off left that way. Emily not only knew him, she idolized him. She would kill the idea of any other man in Leighton's life immediately. Between a rock and a hard place? This was it.

As for Ricky's role in this confusion, she was sure that she would not be unfair to him. She would not lead him on. Her thoughts began to rack her mind again. Wasn't she already being unfair? Even if she went on a date with him or on several, even if they did start a relationship, could she ever hope to have anything as deep and as powerful as what she had with Nathan?

Why couldn't she give Ricky a chance though? "No one (worth being with) has ever pursued me with such fervor," she argued. A part of her enjoyed the attention he showered with her with. She remembered that he was dateless at the fancy Gala event. On an impulse, she decided to believe that he was as authentic as anyone could be and before she lost the new-found conviction, she typed out her reply.

Leighton: "Sounds good, let's give it a shot"

Ricky: "So dinner at Casa di Amore next week, you and me equals awesome! It's a date then!"

Leighton: "Casa di Amore? I hope we aren't going to your place".

Ricky: "Funny! If your columnist career doesn't work out, you should try hanging out at a comedy club or two".

Leighton: "Sure why not? Heading to bed. 9am meeting with the editorial board tomorrow. G'nite Mr Crowther!"